Significance of Janeane Garofalo's breast reduction

"Or take Janeane Garofalo, who says stupid things with such regularity you might take her for a sulky teenager even though she's 44 years old. Because she is an ignoramus and has the self-righteous attitude of an adolescent brat, she was a perfect fit for Air America, where she and Al Franken competed to see which of them could attract fewer listeners.

"For those of you who have managed to go through life without ever having heard the nasty sound bites for which she's best known, your good luck is about to run out.

"On one occasion, she said, 'Our country is founded on a sham. Our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way. So when I see the American flag, I go, "Oh, my god, you're insulting me." That you can have a gay pride parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float, cheering, "We're here and we're queer!" – that's what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride.'

"Another time, she announced, 'The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When the Soviet Union was a superpower, the world was better off.'

"I'm sure when she shared that thought with her fellow pinheads on New York's upper Westside, there was a lot of solemn head nodding and people turning to one another, martini in hand, and saying, 'That little girl has a damn good head on her shoulders.'

"On the other hand, if she'd made such a moronic statement in Poland, Latvia, Czechoslovakia, East Germany or Hungary, I'd like to think she'd have gotten her block knocked off.

"It's usually difficult to figure out why anyone who grows up with all the advantages that go with being born in America and enjoys a moderately successful career, would hate the country as much as she does. But, at the risk of being tossed out of the layman's psychiatric association, it's hard not to view her as someone who has devoted her life to rebelling against mommy and daddy. After all, her mother worked as a secretary in the petrochemical industry and her father was an executive with Exxon!

"Not too surprisingly, Ms. Garofalo is a confirmed atheist, toured on behalf of Code Pink and campaigned for Howard Dean. Take that, Mom and Dad! For good measure, in the early '90s, she got married in a Vegas chapel. Whether she and the groom, a fellow named Robert Cohen, were or weren't drunk at the time, they soon separated, although, for reasons of their own, never bothered getting divorced.

"Although she came to be fairly well-known because of her role in 'The Truth About Cats and Dogs,' she claims she despised the movie because she regards it as anti-feminist. One wonders why, that being the case, she didn't turn down the role after reading the script. But, for someone who is so vehement in her opinions about those she regards as hypocrites, the lady manages to cut herself a great deal of slack.

"Ms. Garofalo is barely five feet tall, which meant that in 'Cats and Dogs,' because the star was Uma Thurman, she often had to stand on a soapbox in scenes with the six-foot tall actress. She must have enjoyed the experience, because in the 13 years since, she has rarely climbed down from her soapbox.

"Besides having had parents who worked in industries Ms. Garofalo hates, she isn't too happy about the hand or, rather, the size and shape God dealt her. As she says about prepping to be a stand-up comedienne, 'I was a 36C or D and at 5'1", I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of an audience was not going to be easy. It would be really hard to get people to pay attention to me without mocking me. Getting a breast reduction to prepare for my career was no different from people who work to get good grades to get into a good college to get into a good graduate school to get a good job. I went down to a B-cup, and it was the best thing in the world.'

"Now, why would she assume people would mock her just because she was busty? Obviously, it's because if she were the one sitting in the audience, she'd be the one snickering and heckling. On the other hand, it's really just about impossible not to mock someone who compares studying hard in college and graduate school to going to a plastic surgeon one afternoon for a breast reduction procedure. Funny, but when I think of something to compare it to, the first thing that comes to mind is a nose job.

"She has directed much of her anger over the years at society for putting pressure on women to conform to body image ideals. And yet in pursuit of a feature role in 'Jerry Maguire,' she lost a good deal of weight, only to discover that Renee Zellweger had snagged the part.

"One could almost feel sorry for her if she weren't such a nasty piece of work. When speaking about Sarah Palin, Garofalo said, 'There is definitely something wrong about her.' I assumed she had something in mind aside from the governor's being smart, attractive and happily married. But when she got down to specifics, the best she could come up with was that Gov. Palin was small-minded and mean-spirited, whereas she, herself, is obviously open-minded and a real sweetie pie.

"When it comes to right-wingers in general, she brayed, 'The reason a person is a conservative Republican is because something is wrong with them. That's science – that's neuroscience. You cannot be well-adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a Republican. It's counterintuitive.' That's sure a lot of big words wasted only to prove what a small and petty mind she possesses.

"About the recent tea parties, the all-seeing, all-knowing gnome, who naturally didn't attend one, says, 'Let's be very honest about what this is about. This is not about bashing Democrats. It's not about taxes. They have no idea what the Boston Tea Party was about. They don't know their history at all. It's about having a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up and is nothing but a bunch of tea-bagging rednecks. There is no way around that.'

"I can't help thinking that when the surgeon reduced her breasts, he got carried away and also removed part of her brain and most of her heart.

"As if it's not bad enough that she is such an arrogant, ignorant, self-satisfied little twit who, if she'd only grow a big red mustache, would look and sound a lot like Yosemite Sam, she's also a sellout. How else to explain why she'd accept a role on '24,' portraying FBI Special Agent Janis Gold, whose mission is investigating terrorists?

"But just maybe Janeane Garofalo isn't quite as unaware of the sad truth about herself as she would have us believe. After all, it isn't as if her production company woke up one day and decided to name itself I Hate Myself Productions."

Yes, her company is really named that.

ACLU on wrong side of 'thought crimes' bill

"They should also remember that the Fifth Amendment makes clear: 'nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy.' But the House 'hate crime' bill allows defendants found innocent of that offense in a state court to be tried again in federal court because of insufficiently diligent prosecutors; or, as Attorney General Eric Holder says, when state prosecutors claim lack of evidence. It must be tried again in federal court!

"Imagine Holder as the state prosecutor in the long early stages of the Duke University lacrosse rape case!

"What also appalls me, as the new federal bill races toward a presidential signature, is that for years, and now, the American Civil Liberties Union approves 'hate crimes' prosecutions!

"I have long depended on the ACLU's staff of constitutional warriors to act persistently against government abuses of our founding documents. And these attorneys and analysts have been especially valuable in exposing the results of executive-branch lunges against the separation of powers in the Bush-Cheney years, and still under Obama.

"Is there no non-politically correct ACLU lawyer or other staff worker or anyone in the ACLU affiliates around the country or any dues-paying member outraged enough to demand of the ACLU's ruling circle to at last disavow this corruption of the Constitution?

"And the president, former senior lecturer in that document at the University of Chicago, should at least take it with him on Air Force One, where there are fewer necessary distractions, and familiarize himself with what the Constitution actually says."

Senate: Filibuster 'Pedophile Protection Act' now!

"There are only 242 crimes where there is actually some – truly – an assault, and we just rejected an amendment to including pedophilia from being a part of this protected class.

"Do you realize what that means?

"If a mother hears that their child has been raped and she slaps the assailant with her purse, she is now gone after as a hate criminal because this is a protected class. There are other protected classes in here. I mean simple exhibitionism. I have female friends who have told me over the years that some guy flashed them, and their immediate reaction was to hit them with their purse. Well now, he's committed a misdemeanor, [and] she has committed a federal hate crime because the exhibitionism is protected under sexual orientation.

"I know my friend said that we have a definition in the law, but there is nothing in this bill that references the definitions in the Hate Crimes Statistical Act … it's not there. We asked that it be added so we could get a specific definition. It is not there.

"And having reviewed cases as an appellate judge, I know that when the legislature has the chance to include a definition and refuses, then what we look at is the plain meaning of those words. The plain meaning of sexual orientation is anything to which someone is orientated. That could include exhibitionism, it could include necrophilia (sexual arousal/activity with a corpse). … It could include urophilia (sexual arousal associated with urine), voyeurism. You see someone spying on you changing clothes and you hit them – they've committed a misdemeanor; you've committed a federal felony under this bill. It is so wrong."

Black pastors: Rise up against perversity

"'Gender identity' protection passed through the U.S. House of Representatives last week, included in H.R. 1913 'Hate Crimes' legislation ('gender identity' means actual or perceived gender-related characteristics), sponsored by Rep. John Conyers. Rep. Steve King of Iowa calls it the 'Thought Crimes Bill' since there is no solid definition of what a 'hate crime' really means. In addition, King reported that Rep. Alcee Hastings has asserted that 'every "philia" (i.e. pedophilia, etc.)' should be protected."

and

"From the depths of my soul, I appeal to black pastors in particular to speak up NOW and stand against this wickedness and evil that has stolen the cause of racial equality and, as the Evil One always does, twisted it into moral decadence.

"If we do not, the coming tyranny and oppression of the church cannot be blamed on those who are separated from God by sin but rather on those who claim His name and became complicit by support or silence."

12 Step Recovery Plan for Obama Supporters

"1. Establish honesty in admitting failure – this is very difficult thing for a liberal. Ones that invested so much time, effort and money in the Obama campaign will find it difficult to admit that their dedication was misguided. Conservatives must allow the recovering Obamaniac to vent about why they felt their original love for Him didn’t turn out to be the flowering garden of love and fairness they envisioned. Like all jilted former admirers, recovering supporters will feel foolish, so it is important to not bring further embarrassment upon them. Just admitting the failure is progress enough for step one.

"2. Show faith in a higher power – Recovering Obama supporters have an aversion to discussing faith issues, so this is another difficult step. Avoid telling the former Obama worshiper the importance of believing in God, but focus instead on the fact that Obama turned out not to be God. Recovering from liberalism frequently requires admission that there might actually be a kind and loving God and this by itself is a huge leap. Once again “baby steps” are the objective. Just getting the recovering Obama supporter to admit that Obama is not God might be all the progress one can make.

"3. Assist in surrender of control – Obama supporters at one time believed that government control of industry and finance would create a more fair and just society. Instead, it created unemployment and soon-to-come inflation. Still, a recovering Obamniac does not at his core, believe in freedom. Freedom of action, speech and especially of others to own firearms is terrifying to a liberal. Take the recovering Obama supporter to coffee and explain that freedom is the right to choose between a non-fat vanilla latte and a mocha cappuccino. The choice is not threatening. It also isn’t threatening that the guy in front of you ordered a drink he despises. The assisting conservative can then carry the conversation on to the issue of free markets. Without surrendering to a free market, there can be no prosperity – or at least the ability to choose what one orders at Starbucks.

"4. Help in taking a personal moral inventory – Liberals absolutely hate this. They would much rather take someone else’s moral inventory and point out the errors of someone else’s ways. Pointing out others’ faults is a trait Democrats cultivate in their followers. Looking for failures within themselves is foreign and threatening. The conservative must be patient and stick to the evidence in discussing topics. A good start is to initiate a conversation regarding why the inevitable inflation next year will be Obama’s cruel tax on the middle class. Obama supporters will connect with the word ‘cruel’ as they are concerned about the future of America’s middle class. When evidence mounts that the conservative position has proven correct, the Obama-type may become frustrated and emotional. Conservatives must continue to bring up factual evidence. Unless the Obamican is brain-dead, this tactic will eventually pay off.

"5. Encourage admission that the previously held belief was incorrect – Recovering Obama supporters wrestle mightily with this step. Admission that any previously held belief was incorrect is taken in most liberal minds as a personal defeat. Politics with Democrats is personal. Admission of poor judgment is not something they would choose to make public. Completion of this step might involve admitting to the conservative that he/she ‘may’ have been wrong. A liberal using the word ‘may’ in this context must be read as a definite admission of the wrong. Democrats never admit an error.

"6. Help recovering Obama supporter accept defects in judgment – This is where it really gets difficult. Admitting a single error is difficult enough. Admission to a defective judgmental process is entirely different. Field evidence must be used as it was in Step 3, only this time; it is a much more lengthy discussion. A recommended scheme is to discuss the Carter years and why they led to double digit unemployment, interest rates and inflation. Follow this with a discussion on how Reagan was the President to defeat LBJ’s inflationary cycle and restore economic growth, as well as laying the groundwork for defeating the Soviet Union. This is a detailed discussion, so it will be difficult to hold the liberal’s attention for that long.

"7. Help restore humility – During the campaign, Obama supporters were anything but humble in their wild support for a community organizer. Looking back, they completely embarrassed themselves. The assisting conservative should point out that it was easy to follow along with such a dynamic speaker and campaigner, but the real measure of maturity is to learn from the experience. Liberals refer to every mistake as a ‘learning experience.’

"8. Establish a willingness to make amends – Gaining an Obama supporter’s willingness to vote for someone other than a Democrat is challenging. Simply point out that since Obama is in office damaging the country for perhaps an entire generation, swift and significant counteraction will be necessary to prevent prolonged economic disaster. After all, a liberal doesn’t want to be blamed for anything, especially while waiting to cash the unemployment check.

"9. Assist the Obamican in giving and finding forgiveness – Liberals actually like forgiving others. They aren’t quite so fond of asking forgiveness for themselves. Conservatives must coax this out into the open by making the sting of Obamanomics personal. If the Obama supporter is currently unemployed, this should be easy.

"10. Help recovering supporter maintain his progress – Recovering Obama supporters will burn up an incredible amount of personal energy trying to understand why His policies failed. Usually, Democrats fall back on the tried and true method of blaming others. However, with no Republican presence in Congress, Democrats have full responsibility for the condition of the country and won’t be able to logically blame someone else. Encouraging the former Obama worshiper to continue exploring free markets and conservative thought is a continuous effort.

"11. Help develop an action plan – Democrats love action plans. They love to make them and assign the difficult actions (like paying taxes) to others. That way they can blame others when the effort produces unintended consequences. Conservatives can get past this by involving the former Obamaniac in regular discussions of inflation, money supply theory and other detailed conservative principles. Recovering Obama supporters will need this level of detail to defend themselves when they go to their weekly book club meeting.

"12. Encourage recovering lefty to follow through on action plan – The Obama supporter that realizes he has been hoodwinked into voting for a snake oil salesman will still have to confront those that still consume the Obama Kool-Aid. Making her/his newfound understanding of conservative principles public will be terrifying at first. Conservatives can help by asking probing questions in public. Questions such as: ‘why will there be rapid inflation in 2010?’ will allow the recovering Obamniac to look knowledgeable among his peers. It may also generate an entirely new crop of liberals who wish to throw off the bounds of Obama worship. The conservative assistant may quickly find many in need of his services."

Welcome to USSR, 1920

"When the president announced last week that he would 'cut out the middleman' and make direct government loans to students, he laid bare his contempt for free enterprise. He is fulfilling a campaign promise by overhauling the system through which he claims, 'Private lenders are costing America's taxpayers more than $15 million dollars every day and provide no additional value except to the banks themselves.'

"Consider the philosophy behind his statement. If government cuts out the middleman and performs the service instead, it will be cheaper and more efficient, he reasons. Apply this same reasoning to, say, the entire banking industry. Government's direct involvement in the banking industry can eliminate all those bonuses paid to greedy executives and profits earned by greedy share holders, and make sure that loans are extended to low-income borrowers whether they qualify or not. Direct government control of the banking business will surely make it fairer and more efficient.

"What a fantastic idea! Someone should have thought of this before.

"Apply this reasoning to, say, the auto industry. Government's direct involvement can force the auto industry to dump the management that failed to produce the toy cars the government said would abate global warming. Government control of the auto industry can eliminate those nasty, unnecessary monster cars, such as the Pontiac, and more. Direct government control of the auto industry would certainly be more efficient and would operate the industry in a more environmentally friendly way.

"Direct government control of the auto industry could eliminate the wasteful duplication of products and services. Why should there be three major auto manufacturers? The status quo requires three design departments, three different manufacturing operations, three different but duplicative sales networks, and three different repair and maintenance systems. Imagine all the savings that can be achieved by simply combining the auto industry into a single operation managed by government.

"This principle, applied to all industry, could result in enormous savings, ensure social justice in the workplace and avoid unsafe operations that jeopardize the environment. Wow, who can object to this change? This new direction by this new administration sounds great to a generation who can't remember, or never knew, why America became the strongest, most prosperous nation on earth.

"America's greatness is due to the absence of government control."

Are we blind, nuts or just stupid?

"Do you get it now? This Orwellian scenario is where we're headed – as that old Bible on your shelf has foretold for 2,000 years. Blow the dust off and read it."

Now That the National Holiday of Obama’s First 100 Days Is Over…

"Yes it’s been 100 days since we sent President George Bush packing and rolled out the red carpet for the Obamas. And in that 100 days, Los Angeles continues to be plagued with gang violence and homicides, our state’s budget is beyond repair, and don’t even get me started on our dilapidated public school system. In a few short weeks, we’ll be headed to polls to add more taxes on top of the new taxes that were just legislated, yet and still we have the audacity to be celebrating President Obama’s first 100 days.

"I was afraid of this happening. I was afraid that once Black Americans saw the election of a Black man to the presidency that any chance of us focusing on what’s going on at home in our city and state would be overshadowed by the fact that, 'we got a Black president now' mentality. As if, all is well with Black people.

"How about we get together for the first 100 days of the new session of the Legislature and discuss whether we’re happy with the new taxes forced on us? Better yet, how about we get together after the first 100 days of the new school year to address how we’re feeling about the way our children are being educated in our public school system? Maybe after the first 100 students dropout this year we could meet to see what’s really going on. Ooh ooh, I know—what say you to getting together after the first 100 shootings in our neighborhood between rival gang members to figure out what can really be done to end this shit once and for all?

"Yes, I went there and now I am going here.

"Do you know why your rent went up?

"It’s not because your landlord is a greedy *******—ok I could be wrong on that. It’s not only because your landlord is a greedy *******, but when property taxes are raised, who do you think the landlord is going to pass the cost off to? You.

"Underpaid, unemployed, welfare receiving, Section 8 having, Food Stamp using, you.

"You, who just registered to vote for the first time in 2008 but haven’t been back to the polls since then, even though there’s been two elections in the past several months.

"You, who couldn’t tell me who represents you in city council or the State Legislature to save your life, but can tell me everything about what Obama has done in the last 100 days in office.

"You, who hasn’t visited your child’s school since the last time you were a student there but yet and still want to bitch and complain about your child’s report card.

"You, who wants to be out on the corner hustling Obama t-shirts and memorabilia screaming, 'we gots us a Black president now—get your t-shirt!' but isn’t even registered to vote.

"You who rolls around in your 2009 BMW with your 'Obama Biden' bumper sticker, and a matching lawn sign on your neatly manicured greens that belong to the house you rent on top of that hill looking down on everyone else, but won’t donate some chump change to the local candidate running to represent you, your Beamer, and that castle you call a home.

"Yeah, you.

"And that’s just one example of what’s wrong with Black people’s fixation on all things Obama and our ignorance when it comes to the what’s going on in our very own backyard.

"Let me tell you that the Obama’s sleep well at night. There’s no loud *** ghetto bird hovering over their neighborhood with a bright *** light shining at all hours of the night.

"The Obama’s eat well everyday and don’t have to decide whether or not to go to KFC for chicken because it’s cheaper than buying the ingredients to make the same meal at home.

"And I seriously doubt there’s any question about the quality of education that their daughters are receiving.

"Can you say the same? I didn’t think so.

"I may follow President Obama’s every move, but I’m an equal opportunity cynic. I do the same for those who represent me locally. I’ve got enough pessimism to spread around.

"What’s it going to take to get that message through to the hood, that what happens locally affects us directly and faster than anything coming out of Washington? How come that message isn’t being drilled into our psyches in the manner that vote for Obama was?"